“It’s Never Too Late” is a series that tells the stories of people who decide to pursue their dreams on their own terms.
Lyn Slater will be the first to tell you that her life has been a series of happy accidents and intentional transformations.
“Because I am constantly reinventing myself, my life is always a surprise. I’m an improvisational person. I don’t plan. I’m very much in the moment,” said Ms. Slater, 70, a former professor of social work at Fordham University in New York. “That thought has served me well. It has created endless adventures, surprises, incredible friendships and deep learning.”
Actually.
In 2014, she was taking a handful of creative classes at the Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan. Her professor in a class on how to open a vintage clothing store suggested she start a fashion blog. Ms. Slater, who is from Dobbs Ferry in suburban Westchester County and moved to New York in the mid-1990s, thought, “Why not.” She always had a passion and flair for style and was often mistaken for being part of the fashion industry. He thought he would focus on the blog and this topic.
“I was dressing in a way that people didn’t expect. I was very avant-garde, dressing in a minimalist, black and white look. I was wearing Japanese designers from consignment stores – like Issey Miyake and Yohji Yamamoto,” she explained. “I dressed in a way that I felt and to convey an identity.”
After a fellow student in her class suggested she call herself the Random Icon, Ms. Slater took on the title and got a website and blog domain using that name. She posted three times a week, usually composing inside pieces about clothing and designers, and the integral role these two topics played in her life. She would often wear an outfit and write an essay “about the designer’s inspiration and how I felt wearing it,” she said.
The accompanying photos were taken by her longtime partner, Calvin Lom, 66, a retired cyclotron mechanic. (Today the couple lives in Peekskill, New York) A five-year stint as an in-demand fashion influencer — @iconaccidental on Instagram — was the next big step in her career.
Then came the identity crisis and the loss of self.
Her triumphs, transformations and tribulations, not to mention her truths, are told in her book, “How to Be Old: Lessons in Living Boldly From the Accidental Icon,” to be published in March by Plume, an imprint of Penguin Random House.
“The book is a collection of essays starting when I turned 60 in 2013 up to now,” Ms Slater said. “It’s a book about reinvention and things I’ve learned. How I became an accidental icon and experiences that happened to me. It peaks when I have this crisis of values.”
(The following interview has been edited and condensed.)
How did you go from being a full-time social worker to being a random icon?
In 2014 I did a lot of heavy work focusing on trauma, child and sexual abuse, and the child welfare system. I had to do something creative, because for me, this saves lives. Teachers and people told me I had great style. When the blog suggestion came up, I wanted to delve into it. I have always been interested in clothes and fashion. Clothes have always shown who I want to be. I thought, “Okay. I can do it. I know how to make a website. I can do this.”
How did you know what to focus on?
There was a big hole for women my age who were like me, urbane, intellectual and invested in their lives and careers. The blog I wanted to write didn’t exist. I wanted to engage with a community of women who wanted to think and talk about fashion as a way of expressing identity. I never had a target market.
You quickly gained a lot of attention, amassing almost a million followers on social media platforms. How did this happen;
My writing was my authenticity. The blog was really my impetus to become a writer. I became more visible to the world. Transitioning from blogging to mainly working on Instagram and doing sponsored posts. I landed a Valentino campaign and then an international one with Mango, a Spanish brand aimed at a younger consumer. The fact that they introduced me was groundbreaking. Then I got followers from all over the world. I signed with a modeling agency and got a literary agent. I was spotted by fashion editors and started doing magazine shoots and music videos, modeling, campaigns and working with up and coming designers.
Until 2019 you had a crisis. What happened?
I lost myself. I realized I was unhappy. Everything became very controlled. People tell you what they want you to post, how they want you to do your photos, what they want you to say. That’s not why I started it. I wanted to have a new adventure, meet new people, explore new fields and express myself creatively. I missed the intimate community that was really engaged. I was creating a space where people who felt unheard and invisible felt, through me, seen. Younger women who were afraid of getting old said that I helped them not to be afraid of it.
What did you learn in this whole experience?
That you need equal amounts of analog life and digital. In the beginning, the blog allowed an older person to get into fashion. But after a while, it put me in a box and it became oppressive. I learned how living a digital life can change you. I was sucked in and began to compromise my values. I’ve learned how easy and seductive it is to lose yourself in it all.
How did you get back to your core?
I’m back to writing. I don’t spend much time on social media anymore. I don’t do it for money anymore. Now I do it the way I originally started, which is through writing. I have a Substack that I engage with more than my social media. I have strong priorities, such as putting my family, home and health above everything else. I continue to post because of the group of people who engage with me and for whom my words matter to them, inspire them, comfort them and make them feel good about themselves.
How did you feel about turning 70?
I think getting older is not accurately reflected. Aging is a journey. People saw an old man who didn’t care about being old. My age was irrelevant. There are many good things about aging. You have a lot of life experience. So when things happen, it doesn’t go away. You know what to do. You’ve done it before. You’re more confident, less dependent on what anyone thinks, which is huge.
What is your best advice?
The key to life is to throw yourself into life without a plan and be open to living that way. It is a hopeful philosophy because it predicts that there will always be a future and that there will always be something exciting, different and new.
