I didn’t fully understand the limits of my body until last June, when I fell down my fire escape and floated out of myself in a near-death experience like those of Peter Fenwick – a psychiatrist who researched end-of-life phenomena — documented during his career. (Dr. Fenwick died on November 22 at age 89.)
I was at my own housewarming party, standing at the firehouse with two friends, when I fell, falling about 12 feet and hitting my head. I lost consciousness for several minutes.
As my friends say, the paramedics arrived quickly, peeled the screen from a window on the second floor and brought me down on a stretcher. As I was loaded into the ambulance, I pulled myself up and watched the fanfare: concerned neighbors taking to the street. the pale pink of the sunset. my own body, small and long on the stretcher as my roommate held my palm and my friend my ankle. Their touch brought me back to consciousness. I immediately felt pain and begged for water.
It wasn’t the first time I had what felt like an out-of-body experience. When I was a teenager, I became fascinated with astral projection—intentional out-of-body travel—and began practicing it at night. One night, I ran to the ceiling and watched myself sleep. A line ran from my sternum to my navel. It looked like an umbilical cord: silver and long like a rope.
I had a similar feeling after my fall, though without the cord. Doctors diagnosed a severe concussion and I spent the next three weeks recovering in my new home. At first, I tried to make sense of my sudden proximity to death. Then I thought about fragility—and the thousands of subtle ways people avoid death every day without knowing it—and my experience materialized into a new appreciation of our body’s capacity for self-preservation and a diminished fear of death.
I was reminded of my near-death experience when I learned that the New York Times, where I work, would publish the obituary of Dr. Fenwick.
His 1995 book Truth in the Light, which he wrote with his wife, Elizabeth, included anecdotes from more than 300 people who reported having near-death experiences — which he categorized under labels such as “out of body,” approaching the light’, ‘reunion of relatives’ and ‘life review’. Below are some of the stories he collected.
Meeting of relatives
In 1987, Dawn Gillott was in a hospital in England undergoing emergency surgery in the intensive care unit when she suddenly felt herself floating above her body and through a tunnel, where she found herself in an open field.
There was a bench on the right where my Grandpa used to sit (he had been dead seven years). I sat next to him. He asked how I was and the family. I said I was happy and satisfied and all my family was well.
He said he was worried about my son. my son needed his mother. I told Grubby I didn’t want to go back, I wanted to stay with him. But Grampi insisted that I return for the sake of my children. I then asked if she would come for me when my time came. He started to answer, “Yeah, I’ll be back in four—” then my whole body seemed to jump. I looked around and saw that I was back at ITU
Approaching the Light
Avon Pailthorpe was driving on a dark, rainy day in 1986 when her car hydroplaned and went into a spin. Then she felt herself shooting, head first, into a tunnel.
As the tunnel began to light up, there were apparitions. They weren’t human and I couldn’t see anything but I was aware of their minds. They were debating whether I should go back. That’s what made me so safe. I knew I had absolutely no responsibility to make any decision. This is an almost unknown situation for me, and it was wonderfully liberating. I also knew that I couldn’t influence the decision they made, but that whatever it was would be right.
The Life Review
Alan Pring was given anesthesia while undergoing minor surgery in 1979 and quickly lost consciousness.
I went through the review of my life which extended from early childhood and included many incidents which I had completely forgotten. My life flashed before me, but it was whole, even my thoughts included. Some of the content made me cringe, but there were one or two that I had forgotten about that I felt quite satisfied about. All in all, I knew I could have lived a much better life, but it could have been much worse.
Amisha Padnani contributed to the research.
